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Bill Klein
By Bill Klein on 4 February 2009
Homesick Blues - I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage that if you want God to laugh, tell him your plans. Of course, that need not apply solely (or soully) to a deity.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Boy Scouts of America, Britney Spears, Nancy Reagan, United States Air Force, United States Coast Guard, United States Department of Defense
By Bill Klein on 28 January 2009
By the time you read this, our new US President is on the job and probably wondering why he went through all that trouble to get it. Let’s face it, the guy has his work cut out for him. Being President of the US is not some cushy walk in the park job like, say, civilian squadron communications officer. That’s my job, by the way, and no, I’m not giving the money back.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Al Gore, Aretha Franklin, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Homesick Blues, President of the United States
By Bill Klein on 21 January 2009
One of the thankless duties of a globe-trotting communications manager is to make sure his crew members make it safely from ship to airport and vice-versa. That’s as far as my responsibility goes. So, for instance, if the plane happens to take a header into the Hudson River, not my bad.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Hudson River, Japan, Paris Hilton, Yokosuka Station
By Bill Klein on 14 January 2009
As I sat at the table in the crew mess tonight, lingering over the night’s portion of Soylent Green – or whatever – I found myself pondering the double-edged sword that is modern technology. It helps take one’s mind off the food.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Christopher Columbus, Coal mining, Homesick Blues, National Weather Service, Santa Claus
By Bill Klein on 7 January 2009
Well, here we are on our second-to-last evening in Guam. There is only one reason why we come to Guam: to get things done. There is a US Naval base here, so this is the time that the Navy staff and its civilian minions – namely me – go ashore to take care of official stuff, like medical and dental appointments, supplies, technical issues, admin issues, and drinking at the Clipper Landing bar. Well, that last one isn’t official, but we do it anyway. I mean, as long as we’re here and all that.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Bill Clinton, Fiscal New Year, Guam, Homesick Blues, New Year, New Years Eve, Washington D.C
By Bill Klein on 31 December 2008
This is the time of year where I watch Armed Forces Network (AFN) television just to see the holiday greeting announcements from the commanding officers. Typically, this consists of one of the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marine Chiefs of Staff and his respective wife seated in a cozy Christmas scene, complete with tree and presents, as the Chief passes on an intimate holiday greeting:
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Holidays, Homesick Blues, Keith Richards, New Year
By Bill Klein on 24 December 2008
…I am writing this letter to urge you NOT to support President-Elect Obama’s choice for Secretary (Designate) of Agriculture. Gov. Tom Vilsack (D-Iowa), the President-Elect’s nominee, is the worst possible choice. In these hard economic times, small farmers are being hit harder than ever. Gov. Vilsack is a well-known supporter of Monsanto, Archer Daniels Midland and other large agribusinesses who, more than even McDonald’s and other fast-food franchises, are responsible for the health and obesity problems plaguing our country.
Posted in Letters | Tagged National Animal Identification System, Tom Vilsack, United States Department of Agriculture
By Bill Klein on 24 December 2008
So, next time you find yourself getting a little riled at your local government (hello, Appomattox County Board of Supervisors!), remember that someone else usually has it worse than you. It’s good to be back in Saipan, despite its faults. Wonder if I could interest them in a waterline? Folks in Appomattox will find that last line hilarious. Trust me on that one.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Appomattox County Board of Supervisors, Homesick Blues, Northern Mariana Islands, waterline
By Bill Klein on 17 December 2008
I ended up dining on gyudon, a dish consisting of beef, carrots, noodles and rice, which didn’t taste bad at all, especially when mixed with the copious amounts of of chili powder I added to it. I ate as much as my admittedly still-budding dexterity with chopsticks would allow, then turned to the miso soup accompanying my entrée. It was so salty I can only assume that miso is a Japanese word meaning “Tokyo Bay in a Bowl.”
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Homesick Blues, Japan, Tokyo, Yokosuka
By Bill Klein on 10 December 2008
When we left off last, I was sitting in the Domestic Arrivals section of Fukuoka International Airport, waiting for the Navy shuttle bus which would take me to the base in Sasebo. You will be happy – well, hopefully – to know that I was able to catch said shuttle and was successfully delivered to my final destination.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Chuck E. Cheese, Holiday Inn, Homesick Blues, Japan, Sasebo, Tokyo
By Bill Klein on 3 December 2008
Well, as promised, Devoted Readers (both of you) I am not writing this week’s entry from the comfort of my wood-stove-warmed garden room at the farm. Instead, I am in the Domestic Arrivals terminal at Fukuoka International Airport, Japan. It’s an airport, and it looks just like any airport in America except that the signs have strange symbols on them and most of the people have dark hair.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Christopher Columbus, Francis Drake, Homesick Blues, Seoul, South Korea, T. E. Lawrence, USS Enterprise
By Bill Klein on 26 November 2008
We were shopping at Lowe’s the other night, and as we strolled through – actually, under – a huge ceiling fan display, I began wondering what would happen if all those fans were spinning at full speed while hordes of holiday shoppers were milling around underneath and then ALL THE FANS FELL DOWN AT ONCE! Imagine the horror, the carnage…oh, the humanity!
Posted in News | Tagged Douglas MacArthur, Homesick Blues, Thanksgiving, World War II
By Bill Klein on 19 November 2008
If you are a regular reader of this column, you have probably noticed that I travel a lot. But you may have also noticed that I never really actually SEE anything in my travels. That’s because in these magnificent modern times, generic airports and interstate highway systems, one can actually journey for hundreds, nay, thousands of miles…and never see a thing.
Posted in Columns, Homesick Blues | Tagged Homesick Blues, McDonalds, Morlocks, TGI Fridays
