Election Season is finally over and I, for one, am looking forward to observing more civilized pursuits, such as rifle-toting sports folk vaporizing herds of deer into so much venison jerky. Observing from a safe distance, that is, particularly among those sports folk who choose to tote flasks along with their firepower. Better safe than mistaken for an eight-point buck and ending up dressed-out and hanging upside-down from an oak tree in the backyard of a near-sighted hunter with breath smelling of schnapps, that is my motto.
But getting back to Election Season, as is our tradition, my wife and I went through our usual ritual of trying to sneak off to the polling place without the other, failing miserably of course, then trying to argue each other over to the other side on the trip to Vera and finally canceling out each other’s votes. Perhaps one day we will agree on politics, but what fun would that be?
And such a hotly contested race it was! The network news shows were showing lines of people stretching for dozens of blocks, all waiting to vote. Well, at least that’s what they ended up doing, when they got to the front of the line and realized it WASN’T a Starbucks.
Alarmed at the thought of an hours-long wait, the missus and I hopped in our trusty gas-guzzling SUV that we drive to all the environmental meetings and dashed for the polls. Good thing too, as there was almost a line. If there had been only one voting machine instead of two, who knows how many precious minutes…OK, precious seconds might have been lost?
When we arrived in Vera, sides had already been taken, people were shouting and screaming and waving signs in each others’ faces, and that was only after being asked what kind of donut they wanted from the tray. The exit polls indicated a distinct advantage to the honey glazed, with crullers a distant second followed by the undecideds who just had coffee. The powdered sugars never made it out of the primaries.
For such a Big and Important Election Year, there weren’t exactly a lot of things to actually vote for. There was the President thing, the Senator thing, and the Representative thing and that was pretty much it. I mean, I know that national offices are important and all that, but I don’t really KNOW any of these people. Not personally, anyway. And usually, the fact that they have gotten as high in office as they have gives me reason not to trust them.
Oh sure, it means they can BE bought, but what I want to know is, can they STAY bought? In this economy, one must be very careful about investments, especially in our politicians.
So pardon me if the emphasis on national elections made it all seem kind of impersonal. This election was about people you see on TV giving speeches, not down at Baines’ or Granny Bee’s buying you a slice of pie and advising you not to forget who you got it from if you know what is good for you.
The voting machines in Vera were the new state-of-the-art “touch-screen” computers. Being a high-tech world traveler, I had the distinct advantage of familiarity with the technology, but unfortunately got confused and instead of voting, I accidentally booked an aisle seat with two checked bags and a carry-on.
After a hearty chuckle over my mistake, I immediately took steps to rectify the situation and after only a couple of hours, had finally managed to cast my votes. For whom, I have no idea. Hey, one technological step at a time. I’m still trying to figure out cruise control.
